I find I'm so excited that I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at a start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope. Ellis "Red" Redding, The Shawshank Redemption
Early onset Alzheimers Disease. Just a couple of words on a page, but these few words have changed my life.
The quote above just really says it all to for me. The emotions I am dealing with range the spectrum and ask me at any one time during a random day and I will feel different than I did an hour before; will feel different then I will an hour later.
The Internet has been prevalent in my life for the last 25 years and so, as with anything I am not knowledgeable about, I turned to it when I was given my diagnosis. Just words, but words that bring fear, apprehension, dread and confusion.
After doing the initial searches with all manner of word combinations associated with Alzheimers, reading just about all there is to read on causes, symptoms, treatments and prognosis', I decided I wanted a more personal and intimate look at it and the people who live with it every day.
I found blogs from family members, friends, caretakers and health professionals relating their experiences and methods of dealing, but I found precious few blogs from the patients themselves. And so begins my journey and record of it. I don't want to forget every single moment of it, so I will try to write it all down. It won't be easy.... some days I can barely remember my own name, but I will do what I can.
First things first; I am a woman, 56 years old (almost 57 at this writing). I have 3 adult children, one married, on divorced and one single. I know their names most days, but somedays I don't. I also have a mother who really isn't interested in her diabetic, early onset dementia so I won't mention her much. Lets just say she is someone who I won't be broken hearted to forget.
I live in near the North Georgia Mountains, the same ones that are called the Smokey Mountains in states north and east of us.
I have 3 dogs and 3 cats and I struggle with their names as well.
And so it goes. There is more to come, Oh so much more, but for now I will let this be. Every beginning needs a starting point and this is mine. I hope that eh ending will not be soon.
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